Fourty three

The beads and glitters in their, my cousins’ dresses left my eyes awe struck. I was only about 3 feet tall then, wearing an oversized t-shirt and baggy pant my dad had bought me from one of his work trips. The two little cousins were getting ready, seated on their teeny weeny chair just in front of the dressing table. I stood beside them, my mouth glued, body still and my two big eyes gaping at their actions. Of applying creams onto their cheeks, mascara onto their feathery lashes, picking up this and that from the dressing table until they were done and dusted. I stood there in the room without moving. While My face still staring, my little fingers grabbed fistful of air and released as when they rolled their red and black belts around their waists. They picked one comb, and another, and brushed their curly hairs. They applied white cream, brown over that and tapped their faces with palms. One of them tossed their mom’s red lipstick and drew it across their lips. My elder cousin was wearing something in cream, brown beads filled all over. And two shades of blue jeans. Cannot really recall what the younger one was wearing, but even that, was something I wished was mine. And I looked like a six year old boy. My dad had chopped my hair off and combed sideways. There was no make up, no touch up. I was just a plain little girl wanting to be like the others my age.

Bringing up. Despite my protest, dad would stuff my wardrobe with non girly clothes of non girly colours. Perhaps that’s why, that kind of bringing up is the reason why I pick white over purple and black over orange. Such boring colours, a friend has to say. But I could wear a Daddy’s shirt in white with some old faded jeans, for days on row.
Perhaps that kind of bringing up is what made me defend myself ‘No. It’s my dad’s’ when boys in my college would ask me ‘Are you wearing your bro’s shirt?’
Perhaps that kind of bringing up, to live a simple life is what will help me in the future when I’m going to make a living with only 10k every month.
Perhaps, the walking for kilometres with empty rickshaws walking by side, not having many pairs of footwears, not being expensive myself is what will help me in the future, when tough roads come my way.
Power! 👼


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